Slither (2006)

Slither

2006

Starring: Nathan Fillion, Michael Rooker, Elizabeth Banks, Gregg Henry

Directed By: James Gunn

Slither was one of those movies where you saw the trailer once, then never heard of it again until they started forcing the DVD down your throat by commercials. My brother kept telling me "Stephen, you HAVE to see this movie!! It's freakin' hilarious!". So, the DVD came out today, so I figured I'd just buy it and check it out.

My brother and I rarely agree on movies except for horror movies. I must say, he was right. Slither is one of those flicks that keeps you interested and doesn't insult you in the process. It's straight up gore, scares, and comedy. In fact, movies don't get much better. Seeing as Slither was a Universal release, I was suprised that it wasn't pushed as much at the theater. Then I realized who was behind it, and then it hit me. I'll get to this later.

Slither is a combination of Night of the Living Dead and Invasion of the Body Snatchers, but it really can't be compared to those. If it had to be compared to something else, I guess that would have to be it. The movie starts out with a meteorite hurling itself toward Earth. It lands in a remote area of (believe it or not) South Carolina, where the local citizens celebrate deer hunting season like Christmas. The citizens of Wheelsey, SC are soon thrust into one of the most bizarre and entertaining events I've seen in a long while.

I don't want to spoil too much, but after a while, slugs begin to take over the locals and form a collective similar to The Borg in Star Trek. It's up to the local bumkin sheriff, mayor, and a small band of others to rid their peaceful town of this new menace.

The reason I mentioned Universal NOT pushing this movie is because of the writer..director James Gunn. He's written a few movies as of late like Scooby Doo 1&2 as well as the remake of Dawn of the Dead. He also wrote a little known B-movie for Troma called Tromeo & Juliet. It seems to me that anyone associated with Troma (or still supports them I should say) is basically shunned within the ranks of Hollywood. This sucks because Troma is responsible for some of the best indie movies of all time. There's even a scene in Slither where a chick is watching The Toxic Avenger, so Gunn hasn't forgotten his roots. Anyway, I digress. The writing and directing in this movie is actually really, really good. I was suprised that an unknown B-movie in this genre could be this damn good. James Gunn is impressive here and has created a fan out of me with this impressive piece of work. Though is starts out a tad bit slow, it builds to a really nice pace and doesn't hold back for the last hour.

The acting is another thing that suprised me about Slither. It too is actually really, really good. From Michael Rooker to Nathan Fillion to the mad-ball and insane mayor, Gregg Henry. The characters are really down to earth and have apparently spent time in South Carolina researching backwoods podunk citizens. The acting in combination with the excellent writing makes for a good mix of characters with great development. There is even a cameo from Troma head, Lloyd Kaufman as a "Sad Drunk" and Rob Zombie lends his voice as a doctor via a phonecall, so Gunn pays tribute to those who apparently have inspired him.

The special fx..makeup are top-notch, especially (like I said above) for a B-movie. There are times where I found myself questioning whether CGI or traditional makeup and monster fx were used, which is a good thing. The gore level in the film is quite high, but not as bad as you would think it would or should be. It's a good mix of gore and blood with zany characters and monsters, so it all equals out to a good time. There are some really cool death sequences that are both gory and original.

The DVD is really cool with a ton of extra features. One of my favorites is a Lloyd Kaufman set visit which chronicles what goes into his cameo in the film. Although it's a short little documentary, it was fun seeing Lloyd sporting the same little camera my son and I were in front of while hanging out with him at Screamfest '06. There are several deleted and extended scenes as well as a commentary and several other little documentaries, so there's enough Slither material to keep you busy for a while.

All in all, Slither was a fun ride for me and reminded me of the classic 70's & 80's B-movies that I love so dear. It was a guilty pleasure enjoying this movie and something I want to watch several times over and enjoy for years to come. Slither has become an instant classic with me, so expect to hear me recommending it for a very long time. If I can say one final thing for Slither, it had balls. Something I wish most movies nowadays had.

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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

2006

Starring: R. Lee Ermy, Jordana Brewster, Taylor Handley, Andrew Bryniarski

Directed By: Jonathan Liebesman

First let me say that this is a prequel to the 2003 remake of the 1974 original film. Leaving the original one be for now, I liked the remake and felt that the Marcus Nispel direction took the remake into the right feel, though nothing will ever beat the original Tobe Hooper 1974 classic.

With that said, The Beginning starts before the remake and takes place in 1969. Holden and his brother Dean are being led across Texas by their girlfriends so that they can be carted off to Vietnam. It's Holden's second tour and Dean is a little apprehensive about joining up for war. In the meantime, we find out that Lee's Meat Plant is closing and hundreds are going to be without jobs, so basically the whole town is packing up and leaving. Well, everyone but the Hewitt family.

The two brothers and their girls stop in this bumpkin town on their way to war for the girls to use the bathroom. After leaving a store, a biker chick tries to basically run them off the road to rob them blind. In what is probably one of the coolest horror movie car crashes, the boys crash their jeep into a cow. That's right, a cow. It's either tragic or hilarious... depends on how you see life I guess. Personally, I found it funny as all Hell. After this, things only go downhill for the main four cast members.

Now, on to why it's called The Beginning. We get to see why the Hewitt family started their little killing spree, but here instead of Leatherface standing as the foremost psychopath, Sheriff Hoyt stands tall as the ringleader of them all. We get a partial origin of Leatherface, but ultimately, we the audience are left with most of his life to our imaginations. This is good as far as trusting your audience, but there's something missing in seeing a young Thomas Hewitt (Leatherface) get picked on on the playground. The rest of the "family" sort of fill in the gaps with their own eccentricities, but Hoyt stands alone as the "mastermind" of the killings.

In what is probably his best role since Full Metal Jacket, and maybe a role that rivals that role, R. Lee Ermy knocks the character of Sheriff Hoyt out of the park. He's totally creepy, funny, and psychotic all in one grizzled and rough package. With more insight into his character than the previous film, we begin to understand "why" and then just go with it. Basically, this IS R. Lee Ermy's movie and Leatherface is just a minor role. We do get to see Leatherface's "first human mask", so that's a BIG plus in my book.

As far as the rest of the acting is concerned, I didn't see anything that I hadn't in any other Chainsaw movie before. Nothing special, but nothing bad. Everyone serves their purpose for the film, which is basically to make Sheriff Hoyt be as evil and demented as possible. The main teen cast is disposable, which is what we've come to expect from horror movies as of late. To be honest, I always root for the badguy and was hoping it wouldn't be long before the first teen got what they had coming.

The direction is decent, but not as good as the first film (or 2003 remake). A lot felt borrowed from the remake, but I guess the new director wanted to keep continuity up, so there wasn't anything out of place. Though I can't say there was anything really dynamic about the direction. Camera shots were good and the pacing was decent, but nothing to write home to momma about.

The gore and makeup fx were great though. I'd say more gore and better fx than the remake had. But isn't that ultimately why we go see horror movies? Gore, blood, death, and scares. If you like gore and blood in movies, this one doesn't hold back. Though some of the shots were cut short of the "money shot" so to speak, I expect that was the decision of the MPAA and not the filmmakers.

The script was decent too, but kind of lacked some of the elements that made the remake great. I think the story was propelled forward better in the remake, but isn't done too bad here. Just a couple of slow places make you wonder why they chose to do some things, but nothing that will make you hate the film.

Ultimately, The Beginning was a solid film and a good installment to the Chainsaw franchise. I would have done a few things a little different, but I won't complain and gripe because I feel I got my money's worth. The ending comes a little short with the setup they give, but if you think about it, the 2003 remake is set up perfectly if you watch this one first. With that said, I recommend this movie to anyone who just loves the Chainsaw movies or to anyone who loves a decent horror flick. Though some of the audience jumped in places, I found nothing scary about it. In fact, I found myself laughing when others were gasping in terror and disgust, so I walked out of the theater satisfied and realizing that I'm a sick, sick man.

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Jeepers Creepers (2001)

Jeepers Creepers

2001

Starring: Justin Long, Gina Phillips, Jonathan Breck, Patricia Belcher

Directed By: Victor Salva

Ok, someone requested I do this review, so feeling bored and the need to go off on a bad movie, I decided to give it a go. So, Mike, this one's for you man.

Trish (Gina Phillips) and Darry Jenner (Justin Long) are brother and sister coming back home via the back roads for the holiday break. Their journey is uneventful until they are terrorised by 'some jerk' in a beat up old truck – an event they get over until they later see the driver unloading what looks like bodies into a hole as they drive past. Escaping the ensuing chase, Darry insists they go back to see what he was doing – something he deeply regrets doing when he finds mutilated and preserved bodies all over the inside of the pit. They escape the truck again but their attempts to get help lead to nothing and they find themselves battling much more than the psycho driver that they first feared.

From here, it only gets worse. In a clever attempt to first be a horror movie, then a creature feature, Jeepers Creepers loses any hope of being a good movie about fifteen to twenty minutes in. The rest of the time is spent wanting someone to die. Anyone. The cast, the monster, yourself... someone has to pay for this movie. As many "monster" movies as I've seen over the years, this is one that actually had balls... at first. Then, like I said, after the first act, the movie gets quickly neutered and sends you on a depression fit for the next hour.

Trying to decide between monster movie and horror movie (and yes, they're two different genre), Jeepers Creepers never decides on anything except... "Hey! We need a sequel!" No, you don't need a fucking sequel... but we got one anyway. But I'll save that review for another day when I need to vent some anger. The ending is supposed to be some kind of shocker where the audience is supposed to shit themselves, but instead the ending leaves you wanting to puch someone. Namely, the director and writer of this piece of garbage.

Trying to decide between monster movie and horror movie (and yes, they're two different genre), Jeepers Creepers never decides on anything except... "Hey! We need a sequel!" No, you don't need a fucking sequel... but we got one anyway. But I'll save that review for another day when I need to vent some anger. The ending is supposed to be some kind of shocker where the audience is supposed to shit themselves, but instead the ending leaves you wanting to puch someone. Namely, the director and writer of this piece of garbage.

The directing in this movie, like I said above, can't make up it's mind. Is it horror? Is it a monster movie? Is this a teen movie? What the fuck is it? It's not good, that's for sure. Victor Salva didn't use one original shot, idea, or anything else for that matter that didn't already come from something else. Remember the movies Hitchhiker or The Hitcher? Same premise but with a demonic twist.

The monster fx and makeup were decent at best, but nothing to brag about. I found it actually cool when we got to see the things wings, but two good seconds of a movie does not make one great. The gore fx were standard and nothing you really could create with $15 and a trip to Wal Mart at Halloween time.

As low budget as this film was, there was no excuse for the piss poor acting, directing, or writing. I don't care if people think this movie is scary or not, because those people are the one's who get scared when they see their own shadow. You fucking groundhogs you!

Anyway, I can only find one good thing to say about this movie: I only saw it once.

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